Anxiety Attacks and Job Interviews

From Monday night (Feb. 25):

Tonight for dinner, I simply made spaghetti with olive oil and onion/tomato/garlic/basil “sauce.” It was delicious. As is, apparently all of the food that I enjoy eating. I need some new adjectives, my friends!

But let me tell you about my day today: (I wrote this bit Monday evening, too)

First things first, I had an interview scheduled for after my second class, that by the time it came to that time in my day, I had no idea if I would even make the interview. I have been suffering a lot of stress and I have no way to cope with my stress other than this meditation recording which reminds me of my dance teacher. Anyway, this stress came to a bit of a head this morning. It turned into an anxiety attack over my interview clothes; of which I felt I had none. So, as one does, I started trembling and not being able to function normally. I went to the health center on campus and made an appointment to talk to someone about stress management. My dad promised to pay for session(s) with a counselor a while back, so I felt no qualms about finally doing it now. Only a little bit of guilt that I hadn’t done it sooner and now I’m doing the typical American repair-rather-than-prevent thing…

But I went to my interview after all. Everyone I have talked to about my day on Monday, including myself is impressed that I made it. It was down in Union Square in San Francisco, a place that would make many people nervous on a great day; you can only imagine what it would be like on a nervous-breakdown type of day. But I had sufficiently calmed down and I made. I am not sure I did very well in the interview; it seemed to drag on but only lasted maybe 10-15 minutes. I always feel I’ve made a fool of myself in interviews…and I probably usually do. This time I felt at least somewhat prepared, having asked a friend who works at another of this particular company’s locations for pointers.

I did even manage to show up on time, after missing the Muni line I intended to take and not having good navigation on my phone. I had to do it the somewhat old-fashioned method: I asked people for directions! People I didn’t know, which usually I avoid at any cost, mostly to prove that I am capable of finding things myself and also so I can avoid talking to strangers, which I’m nervous about, not because I’m afraid of them, but because I have very little practice…anyway, I made it to my interview!

After my interview, I walked through Union Square, which is as I am sure most of you know, an outdoor mall of sorts. It is really quite something! I’ve only been once to the Macy’s with my grandfather and neither of us had wanted to be there very long, probably  because—before he met his current wife, who has worked her magic and calmed him considerably—he used to get cranky quickly, which I think he passed on to the rest of my family. So I explored and went into a few stores, hoping to do some minor retail therapy, and I went and accidentally made a friend. She worked at Lush, a wonderful store full of bath/skincare/hair products that smell amazing and don’t need packaging. She could tell I was having a shit day and decided to take care of me and offered me a free facial, which, if you haven’t had a Lush facial, you should. It was AWESOME! She even got me to buy a bubble bar, whereas most store clerks cannot for the life of them, convince me to make a purchase even after doing all kinds of free trial type stuff. But their products and my weird mood just worked to her advantage I guess!

2 thoughts on “Anxiety Attacks and Job Interviews

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